"You forgive everyone and everything, you don’t get angry and if you need a break, you just sit outside and you let it shine trough you, as if everything bad doesn’t exist and maybe you yourself don't either." Lena shares a story from Berlin, reflecting on sunny spring days, days on which she realizes how much she missed life.
When the sun shines in your room and wakes you up in the morning, tickles your nose with his tiny sunbeams, you want to wake up. You see everything clearer and with everything I mean the bright side of life. The things that make you want to laugh maybe your dog getting exited seeing you after a long day, the person who means a lot to you or a good smelling italian coffee plus a cornetto. You see the little things.
You hear someone making breakfast and you aren’t annoyed by any sounds you hear. You start reading and maybe because you get tired again, you fall asleep again. When you then wake up again and you see the sun shining through your curtains, you say to yourself that life is beautiful, so so beautiful.
'When you then wake up again and you see the sun shining through your curtains, you say to yourself that life is beautiful, so so beautiful'
You start making to-do-lists in your head for your day and also to-do-lists for your life in general because “you can do everything” and everything you do seems so easy and you wonder why you weren’t doing that when the weather was bad. You stand up, you put on clothes or maybe you don’t because you aren’t forced to do anything.
You get creative, you cook, you sing while you’re cooking, you draw, you laugh about your own jokes, you hug everyone. Something warm crawls up your body, something that has been inside you all along but you only get to know that feeling when the sun is shining on your head. You forgive everyone and everything, you don’t get angry and if you need a break, you just sit outside and you let it shine trough you, as if everything bad doesn’t exist and maybe you yourself don't either. But that’s okay, because you don’t even need to exist.
Picture by Lena
Death isn’t a problem anymore. Maybe you cry at sunny days, but it’s a quiet cry, a cry that helps you get through something, a cry that makes you feel free. You see yourself as a beautiful and welcoming person, who means a lot to a great number of people.
'Maybe you cry at sunny days, but it’s a quiet cry, a cry that helps you get through something, a cry that makes you feel free'
The most important sunny days are the early March, April spring days, when you realize how much you missed life, how much you missed being safe, loved, appreciated by mother nature and kind to yourself and others. When you come back from outside on one of these days - often it’s the first - you get that tiny little feeling of summer in your chest.
Everything smells like summer. It’s a fresh, new, embracing smell that makes you want to put suncream on your skin or eat a piece of strawberry cake. On these days you often sit down on your balcony and there is a table full of food. You eat filled vine leaves, maybe some hummus, some dried tomatoes and white wine or sparkling water or maybe both.
At the end of a day like that you sometimes ask yourself why everything can be so easy but you’ll never find an answer. Maybe you’re not supposed to find one because life isn’t always about answers. But that’s okay because the sun will rise again.